Grief, according to Wikipedia, is “a multi-faceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed.  Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions.”  Wikipedia also states “grief is a natural response to loss.  It is the emotional suffering one feels when something or someone the individual loves is taken away.”

EVERYONE experiences grief.

Since you’re reading this article it is probably true that at some point and time in your life you’ve experienced grief for one, or a variety, of reasons.  There is no doubt, that no matter what the events were that occurred, that created your grief,  they were traumatic.   Grief is real. . .  No . . .  grief is so real it can be totally debilitating.  It can affect you not only emotionally, but mentally, physically, spiritually and a host of other ways.  Everyone experiences it on a personal level.  Some cry a lot.  Some internalize it and hold on to it.  Depending on the circumstances, some even blame others – a lot.  And some of the time, they could be justified in doing so.  The most important question to you is, “How are you handling it?”

Most of us at the onset of any loss ask the normal questions like, “Why did this happen?” Or “Why us or me?”.  In case of death, it always comes too suddenly, even if, because of a lengthy illness, you’re expecting it.  It’s just too final.  You can share no more good times together;  can’t tell them anything else.  You can no longer explain why you said or did not say something you meant to.  You didn’t get a chance to clarify or explain something.  These unexpressed feelings leave you feeling incomplete, unfulfilled and sadly, but true, most often fill you with regret.  I should’ve done this, or I should have tried harder to do that.  Regret is a normal component of grief of any type.

Historically, when we think of grief, we think of loss that has occurred because of a loved ones’ death.

Believe it or not, this is not the only kind of grief that is very painful.  Broken relationships can be, in some ways, even more painful. We can deal with grief that results from a physical death an end of something; you see them no more on this earth, talk to them no more, can touch them no more.  This kind of grief, though devastating, has a finality to it.

Broken relationships can carry the same kind of results of grief.

Whether through a divorce or broken relationship the pain of the breakup can still be totally devastating, but with one major difference . . .  they are still here and no matter how much you may wish for it, they’re not going away.  And there’s still the “why” questions . . . the blame you put on them, even if they deserve it . . . their rejection of you . . .your rejection of them . . .  the hurtful words they said to you are etched in your brain.  You can easily become angry, bitter, confused, have feelings of low self-worth mixed with depression and loneliness.  It’s a hard thing to walk through.  Starting over is always difficult.

The thought of having to go back out on the dating scene is overpowering.  But that may not be the end of your grief.  Amid all these debilitating feelings many still must see, and talk with, the source of their grief.  Your lives have been entangled together.  There are property issues; child support issues; real estate and other joint properties issues; cars; health insurance, etc.  Most of all, if you have children together, there are custody issues; visitation rights; vacation time; transportation to school and a host of other “just living life” issues.  You must deal with all these issues while trying to overcome your grief.  The good news is, through our blog, you will find help to get through all these things and rebuild your life.

Grief is not limited to the losing of or the separation from someone you love.

Many people love their pets as much as they love some of their family members.  In fact, many believe their pets are the same as family members . . . sometimes only nicer and less needy . . . lol. The loss of a pet can break your heart just like the loss of a loved one.  The pain can be the same.

The last area of grief I want to share with you today is the loss of a job or being passed over for a promotion for someone less qualified just because they had better “connections”.  This type of experience can easily cause feelings of rejection; loss of self-worth; fear of the future; relationship problems with spouses, significant others, children, and all those who depend on you.  It may be no fault of your own.  You didn’t choose the product line for the company to sell, that didn’t sell, or misread the economic situation of the market that lead to your company’s down-sizing.  But now you must live with the results of it.  The good news is, you will overcome this major set back and through our blog you can discover a better future.

 

We will be bringing you news from all over the world.

Stories and pictures from other countries that share how they deal with grief from their tradition and culture; and historic points of view.  You’ll love learning how others around the world experience grief and what they do to overcome it.

Overcoming grief is a priority in the lives of those who have suffered a tragic loss.  Everyone’s goal is to overcome the devastating and debilitating negative emotions of grief while preserving the joy in our memories of our loved ones.

Our blog will help you do just that.

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Author Profile

Lee Gilliam
Lee Gilliam
Lee is the co-founding designer of Overcoming Grief and author of 2 books and numerous articles. He has been in the ministry for over 40 years. He has traveled to over 80 countries and every state in the USA. His ministerial work involves both teaching and business. He is a mentor to pastors and business leaders alike. He is currently working on his upcoming international conference schedule and we will post it when it's ready. We hope you can attend one that will be close to you!! Please contact me at: leeg@overcominggrief.org