When God was creating the earth and He decided He wanted to create a beautiful paradise, certainly the Dominican Republic was on His mind.       

With its tropical climate, lush foliage, and numerous sandy beaches, that rank as some of the best in the world, the Dominican Republic is a beautiful place just to get away, have fun, and work through your brokenness.

 

The Dominican Republic is on the Hispaniola Island.

Santa Domingo is its capital city and is situated on the south east coast of the island, at the mouth of the Ozama River.  It is the oldest permanent city established by the Europeans in the Western Hemisphere.  Santa Domingo was founded in 1496 by Bartholomew Columbus, brother of Christopher Columbus.   It became the first capital of a Spanish colony in the new world.

Known for its historic spots, national parks and green spaces, Santa Domingo offers a wonderful opportunity to visit the Caribbean.

Stay at one of its upscale international hotels or go more rustic and find a place to stay as you hike through the oldest areas and climb the highest mountains in the Caribbean.  Or, stay on the beach and explore the miles and miles of uninterrupted beaches that extend from town to town, and rank in the top 10 in the world.

Experience the super fresh seafood or a perfectly cooked steak, supplied by one of the Dominican Republic’s numerous cattle ranches.  If the sun, the sand, and the surf relax you, then the Punta Cana region is for you.  If you prefer the palm forests, and almost unexplored territories then check out the Samana to Cabrera region.  There, between January and March, you can watch the humpback whales arrive as they migrate every year from the Arctic regions to procreate and care for their babies.

Easy Access is a bonus.

Whether you prefer the restaurants, shopping and just walking the streets of a big city (population est. 2.5 million), or the sun-soaked beaches surrounded by palm trees, pristine forests or Humpback whale watching, the little known Dominican Republic could be just what you need. With two international airports and daily flights from Atlanta and Miami, the Dominican Republic is easily accessible.

 

The Dominican Peso exchange, right now, is about 47-1.  So, every 1 US dollar buys you 47 Dominican dollars, which means there are great deals out there and you get more for less of your own money.  (Please note, I don’t receive any money for sharing this with you.  Just thought you might like to know about a little gem in the travel world.)  Now let’s talk about how Dominican’s traditionally handle the loss of a loved one.

Overcoming grief in the Dominican Republic is like it is everywhere else in the world.

The loss of someone you love can affect every other aspect of your life.  If you define grief as the loss of someone or something you loved, then in the heart of the Dominican resides the same pain as in all peoples.  In the Dominican Republic the dead are buried in the ground laying down, not standing up, as is the way in other countries.

There are two types of funerals in the Dominican.  Those who have money place their loved ones in a funeral home, where they are embalmed, and placed traditionally in a cemetery.   However, for the vast majority of the working-class people, that type of funeral is not affordable.  Their funerals are conducted in their home.  They take place usually between 24 and 48 hours after death.  Depending on the season, if it’s not too hot, they might keep them in the home 3-4 days.  There is no embalming for them.

It is customary for two individuals among the family to guard the body in shifts, one standing at the head and one at the feet.

It is not unusual, for the funerals at home, for some family members to build a wooden box to place the body in for burial.  Once it is time for burial, several men will carry the body, inside the box, on their shoulders to the cemetery.  It is usually a relatively short distance away.  During the trip family members often cry unconsolably to express their grief.  This is an accepted way of grieving in the Dominican.  Every step taken toward the cemetery brings greater emotional pain as the family realizes that they are closer to never seeing their loved one again.  For those who are at the cemetery and didn’t get a chance to be at the house in time, they will pause and tell the deceased all the things that they wished they had told them while they were alive.

In the Dominican we allow for nine days of grieving.                          

After the nine days are finished we have a day of celebration called the “Memorial”.  On this day we only remember the good and positive things of the persons’ life.  Following the memorial, the families visit the grave site on the birthdays, holidays and special events.  We bring flowers, candles to light, and gallons of water to wash and clean the grave sites and paint to paint the tombs if they have one.

November 2, is the Day of the Faithful Dead, or Day of the Dead, as it is properly known.  On this day many thousands of people visit the grave sites of their loved ones.  It is extremely important in the lives of the Dominican people that their loved ones not be forgotten.  The majority of the Dominican people believe that the life of someone does not end in physical death.  Their soul goes to be with God in eternity.

Wives, often, make it a practice to visit their husbands grave site on the anniversary of their death.

Many wives suffer extreme financial hardship when their husband passes away.

A wife said this:

“I come on the anniversary.  I clean his grave and I just talk to him a lot.  He was a great man and I thank him.  I had three children with him.”  She arrived with a bouquet of flowers and a gallon of water to clean the grave, and since then her life has been an ordeal of suffering.  Going to the cemetery to remember him brings her comfort.

A Mother said this:

“I come every month and I talk to my son, who left this earthly life so soon.  He was my only son.   This grief cannot be corrected.”

Another visitor said:

“I remove the grass from the grave of my loved ones.  I do not accept help from anyone.   This comforts me.”

THE MAN OF THE CEMETERY

The first person to be buried in a holy field, is also venerated on this date with prayers.  Visitors lite candles in their honor.  And alcohol, coffee, rice with black beans, pigeon peas, and even money, are thrown at him to pay tribute.

COMMERCE IN THE CEMETERIES

Many people practice Informal Commerce at the cemeteries.   Vendors have the opportunity to market their items during the celebration of the Day of the Dead.  Family members of the dead come to the holy field and buy different items to fix the grave of their loved ones who rest there.  In the cemeteries, sellers of coconut water, orange juice, beef patty, as well as candles and flowers.  Many young people offer their services to clean graves for RD $100.00 pesos (USD $2.50) and RD $50.00 (USD $1.50).  The City Hall of the National District (AND), as is customary, gives candles to the visitors, so that they light the grave of their deceased loved one.

A broken heart is the same everywhere.

A broken heart in the Dominican Republic is like a broken heart throughout the world.  It is always difficult to deal with the grief and emotional pain that it brings.   We experience grief, even surrounded by the beautiful natural things God has created.   Our surroundings are beautiful but our broken hearts still hurt.

I invite you to come and see us.  Our people are very friendly and the Caribbean Sea will squish the white sand of our beautiful beaches between your toes.  I can tell you, without a doubt, when I’m feeling down or sad about something, that’s therapy for me! And I believe it could be therapy for you too.

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Author Profile

Victor Rodriguez
Victor Rodriguez
Victor is the author of 4 books. He also produces numerous radio and TV shows. He is on the "air" almost everyday. He lives in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. He is married to Martha Fernandez and has 3 children. He is called on consistently to be an interpreter and translator for many ministries in the USA and also for conferences in the Dominican Republic. He also serves as the Public Relations and Logistics Director for a fellowship containing 10,000 churches. He truly is a leader of leaders. Please contact me at: victorr@overcominggrief.org